To the Leader Who Feels Stuck, Scared, and Exhausted

Written by Max Lerma We all start with the same dream. It’s a fuzzy picture in our minds of what success looks like, the big office, the happy team, the feeling of freedom. We chase that picture with everything we have, believing that once we finally get there, the struggle will be over and we can finally rest.

Look, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that struggle you’re feeling? It never really goes away. In fact, the challenges only get bigger and the problems more complex… BUT you will absolutely get better at handling it all.

It’s a funny thing to look back on. As I grow, I keep getting a new perspective, a new understanding of everything I thought I knew. It’s like I’m looking at the exact same challenges from my past, but from a completely different angle. The things that once kept me awake at night, literally sweating from the anxiety, replaying an angry client's words, worrying about making payroll, now seem like manageable parts of the process. The problems that felt like unclimbable mountains are now just hills I’ve learned how to navigate. The secret is in changing the person who is walking through them.

For anyone out there who is currently feeling buried under the weight of it all, stuck, scared, and just plain tired, I want to tell you something. I know that feeling intimately. In fact, it's a place I still visit; there are still moments where the pressure is so intense it feels like it could crush me. And in those moments, the one truth I hold onto is the most important lesson I've ever learned: the journey is the whole point.

We get so obsessed with the destination, with the number in the bank account or the headline in the press, how many followers we have, that we forget the real prize is in the becoming. Your character isn’t revealed when things are easy; it’s in the moments of failure. I can barely remember the specific details of my biggest wins. But I remember my failures with perfect, painful clarity. I remember the sickening knot in my stomach after a single bad purchase wasted money we couldn't afford to lose. I remember the immediate regret of saying exactly the wrong thing in a critical meeting, watching the opportunity evaporate because of my words. Facing that impossible crossroad where the needs of the business required me to end partnerships with people I considered family. I remember the lessons those moments beat into me, and more importantly, I remember the person I was before the struggle and the fundamentally different person I became after.

It may not feel like it at the time, but the struggle is truly a blessing. It’s a blessing because it forces a transformation, and it's the only thing you truly get to keep when everything else is said and done.

The leader you need to be to run a $10 million company is a fundamentally different person than the one running a $100,000 company. That future leader has a level of patience, emotional control, and strategic foresight you can’t even comprehend yet. You don’t just acquire those skills by reading a book or going to a leadership seminar, any more than you can build muscle by reading about the gym. They are built slowly, through the painful resistance of real-world problems and one difficult lesson at a time.

This is why the glamor you see on social media, the expensive cars, the constant travel, the promise of "financial freedom", is the most dangerous trap of all. You start chasing the results of success instead of focusing on the work of success. It makes you impatient. It tempts you to cut corners on your product, your people, and worst of all, on your own character. It robs you of the very thing that offers the most value: your own evolution.

So, fall in love with the process. Fall in love with the challenge and with the person you are becoming through it all.

The most critical question you can ever ask yourself is not, "What do I want to have?"

It's, "Who do I need to become?"

A Few Lessons I've Learned Along the Way:

1. Your Business is a Magnifying Glass. It doesn’t create your flaws; it just makes them bigger. If you’re impatient, your company culture will be frantic. If you avoid conflict, your team will be full of unresolved tension. The best way to fix a problem in your business is to first look for its root in yourself.
   

2. Failure is Just High-Priced Tuition. Every mistake, every misstep, every failure is a lesson you paid for. The only way to waste the money is to not learn the lesson. Get humble, get honest about what went wrong, and make sure that education pays off in the future.
   

3. Patience is a Strategic Advantage. In a world that celebrates speed, patience is a superpower. It allows you to make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and invest in long-term strategies that your impatient competitors will ignore. Don't mistake patience for inaction; see it as a deliberate and powerful choice.
   

4. A Drained Battery Can’t Power Anything, Charge Yourself First. For years, I wore burnout like a badge of honor. It nearly destroyed me. Taking care of your own mental and physical health is a core leadership responsibility. Your team and your dream deserve the best version of you, not what’s left of you.
   

5. Clarity is Kindness. The kindest thing you can do for your team is to be clear about your expectations, your vision, and where they stand. Ambiguity creates anxiety and mistrust. Being clear can feel hard in the moment, but it’s the foundation for a healthy and high-performing culture. Max Lerma MTO