My Grandmother, Ophelia

Written by: Christina DeMara-Kirby

My grandmother, Ophelia, had Parkinson’s, and you could often find her by the jingle of her charm bracelet—her hands would shake gently with time. One night, coming in at 2 a.m., I opened the front door, and there she was, praying the rosary. She looked up at me from her chair and said in a soft, loving voice: “You know, you don’t need to stay with him. Times are different, Mamita.”

How did she know? I was so good at hiding the scratches and bruises. She was trying to stop the cycle. She was trying to inspire me to go in  a different direction.

At the end of her life, her brain scan revealed gray matter damage—similar to that of a professional boxer. She had been a victim of domestic abuse, far beyond what my mother and I could have imagined. Yet, my grandma never yelled. She was the most loving and compassionate person I have ever known.

Grandmas are often natural leaders. They embody wisdom, resilience, and unconditional love—qualities that inspire trust and provide lasting guidance.

Now in my 40s, I can see clearly that my leadership journey began with Grandma Ophelia. Her emotional intelligence taught me how to be a listener, a peacemaker, and a nurturer—skills I rely on in both my personal life and my professional world.

No matter what was going on, her desire to preserve our culture and traditions brought everyone together. She passed down recipes, stories, and values like sacred treasures—anchoring our identity and shaping the woman I became.

Her strength and love never weakened—not through struggles, not through loss, not even through family conflict. She showed quiet strength and graceful adaptability that calmed every family storm.

My Leadership Philosophy

To those aspiring to lead: Embrace being mentored. Love to learn. And never overlook the leaders right in front of you—just because a book or a social media post says something different.

My leadership philosophy—whether as a teacher, an administrator, or now as an entrepreneur running and growing four businesses—is rooted in my Christianity. I do not hide it, and I do not water it down. My faith has allowed me to build meaningful, indestructible relationships.

When we talk about leadership, we often think about positional power and big paychecks. But we forget the power of goodness. Of grace. Of faith.

Through my own journey, I’ve come to two truths:

1. Christian leaders carry a deeper sense of intentionality—like God does.

2. Christian leaders approach their tasks through the lens of faith.
   

These foundational beliefs shifted my mindset from "What does the research say?" to "What does God say?"

Because when our faith grows, everything around us grows, too.

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